Robbery by toilet plunger

The Citizen Bank was third on Lawrence Deptola’s list. He strutted up to the cashier armed with a toilet plunger and banged on the glass partition. “You, retard. This is a robbery. Hand over what you got in your till.”

The cashier gave him a look. “You’re robbing the bank?”

“You a cripple or what? I’ve just told you I’m robbing the bank.”

“With that?”

Lawrence started to grin. “Fuck you bitch, don’t make me come over there and knock the shit outta you with it. Now get your skinny arse into gear and put the money in a bag.”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Lawrence Deptola –