Damn, that bud just smelt too good…

Officer Kimball searched the top-drawer a second time; sure that he’d put the bag of marijuana with the other evidence on top of his desk, right before Thompson passed by to offer up information on another case. The same Thompson he’d just spotted hurrying past the police station. Kimball ran the steps from his office and hit the street in less than twenty seconds flat. “Thompson!” he said. “What did you do with the weed?”

Thompson held out both hands. “I just couldn’t help myself. That bud smelled so good.”

“Uh huh, and you thought you’d help yourself to it?”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of David Allan Thompson – http://phillyburbs.com

A fool for a client

James Kurt scratched his head as he watched the jurors stand up and leave the courtroom after it took them less than two hours to find him guilty of carjacking and armed robbery. “I ain’t going to prison,” he said. “You trippin’, that’s all.”

Scott Strauss, the assistant State Attorney, closed his briefcase and looked up for a beat. “You still think you had a better chance of defending yourself than someone from the Public Defenders Office?”

James shrugged and shook his head saying, “Shit man, you just don’t understand the street talk… How we talk back in my neighbourhood.”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Kurt James – http://local10.com

Alligator in my toolbox

“You better tell ‘im that you aint smoked no shit,” Jessie Stoner said, covering the marijuana on the console with his jacket.

“You think I’m worried? Dude, that aint nothin’ compared to the four-foot alligator I got stuffed in my toolbox,” Christopher Walling said.


Christopher adjusted his cap in his wing mirror, “I shot it out by Llano,” he said, watching the Deputy stroll up to the rear of his pickup, taking his time.

Jessie wiped a hand over his face. Thinking. Two days into his parole. “Shit,” he said, “and I bet you still got no licence?”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Jessie Stoner and Christopher Walling – http://theledger.com

Shot to impress

Richmond Principe was beginning to realise that some things were better left undone, or not done at all. The bullet, a .22-calibre, had hit his chest at close range and exited through his back. “I don’t know the guy who shot me,” he said.

“That right… You think you could try to remember a few weeks back?”

Richmond gave the officer a look and shook his head as if he were thinking real hard.

“You tell your friend that he’d get a cut of the insurance money?”

Richmond rubbed the back of his neck saying, “It weren’t like that.”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Richmond Principe – http://poststar.com

You just got robbed

“Dude, you gotta dig this shit. We can film the fuckers getting robbed,” Randall Smith said.

Artie Goodwine took the marijuana joint out from his mouth and blew a stream of smoke towards the ceiling. He said, “Yeah, we shoot it like it’s one of them fucked up reality TV shows.”

Randall smiled. “Call it ‘You just got robbed’ or something.”

“Yeah, I like that,” Artie said, watching the smoke drift upwards. “We can start making us some real money… Maybe even get invited onto the Oprah Winfrey show.”

“You think?”

Artie shrugged. Thinking. Liking the way it all sounded.

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Randall Smith and Artie Goodwine – http://seattlepi.com

Woman’s choke-hold on cop

“You say your husband tried to strangle you, Mrs. Ambroziak?”

Claudia Ambroziak looked at the officer with tired eyes.

Officer Garay said, “You think you could show me how your husband, Joe, tried to choke you?”

Claudia stood up without saying a word and placed a hand around the officer’s neck applying pressure with her thumb at the same moment the officer swiped her arm from under her and twisted it behind her back. He said, “Damn woman, I didn’t mean for you to strangle me… Now I’m gonna have to charge you with battery on a law enforcement officer.”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Claudia Ambroziak – http://news-journalonline.com

I ain’t got no blow…

Herminio Hurtado-Resendiz told the officer straight, just like he’d told the woman at Rancho’s bar. “Man,” he said, “You ain’t listening to a word I been saying. I ain’t selling no blow… No crack cocaine, amphetamines, ketamine, heroin, marijuana, or methadone. Shit, I’ll even prove it to you.”

“That right, huh?” the officer said.

Herminio gave him that smile, the one that said fuck you. He dug deep into his pockets and turned them inside out. “Shit man,” he said. “That ain’t nothing… You dig?”

The officer picked up the small plastic bag that Herminio dropped from his pocket.

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Herminio Hurado-Resendiz – http://nwfdailynews.com

Life in the fast lane

At first it didn’t sound like much of a job. Now, the idea of shooting the three of them amused him. One of the white guys sitting up front kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Carlos was thinking about popping him first. Bring up the revolver nice-and-easy and shoot him in the back of the neck before picking off one of the other two. See which one would lunge at him first. He was betting on the black guy to his left, the one holding the briefcase open counting all the money. Carlos squeezed the trigger.

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of a shooting outside the Manhattan School of Music – http://nypost.com

‘Did you fart, punk?’

Daniel Collins stood waiting behind his front door holding a .32-calibre Taurus revolver in his right hand listening to his neighbour the other side pass wind. He yanked the door open in a wide arc, stepped outside and pointed the .32-calibre towards his neighbour saying, “Did you fart, punk… Huh?” His neighbour stumbled losing his footing and Collins snapped the revolver’s chamber back, flipped the safety off with his thumb, and pressed the .32-calibre’s muzzle firmly into his neighbour’s forehead. He said, “I will fucking kill you if you fart outside my apartment again, you motherfuckin’ bitch.”

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of Daniel Collins – www.gawker.com

Wheelchair getaway fails

John Champion thought he had it all worked out. He robbed the convenience store on Main St. and told the store clerk that the cops weren’t gonna bust a disabled man. “Jeez,” he said, “even if they did, there’s no cop gonna catch me if they tried.” A few minutes later, Deputy Graves was drumming his fingers over his holster saying, “You need some help there son?”

Champion, shaking his head, looked down at the sand thinking that he should have stuck to the street and kept his wheelchair on solid ground. He took a swig of his Bud Light.

By Vincent Holland

Inspired by the case of John Christopher Champion – www.tampabay.com